Lately my son hasn't been flushing the toilet. He thinks it makes sense to not flush when he knows he'll be going again soon. Oh, ok. Then it must also make sense that I'm coated in his yellow joy when I get up in the dark and fall in, because he not only didn't flush but left the seat up? Brilliant.
I bought a pair of Spanx the other day. They're sized by height and weight. Apparently if you're at the borderline, you should size up. Well, I thought, no way! I'm sizing down so I'm squished even smaller! Yeah well, I can't even get them on.
Sometimes when I'm lying in bed I look across the room and see my dreamcatcher, and I think I should just stick my whole damn head in there.
Check out the UnMom, won't ya?
92 comments:
Bigger sizes make you look smaller.. Looking like a sausage, and feeling like you're in a straight jacket ain't worth it!
LOL "Yellow joy" That must be the quote of the day!
I've been wanting to get some spanx myself and I probably would have done the same thing as you!
This is such a funny post. It made me laugh. I am the same way about the bathroom flush and put the seat down please.
Ha. Spanx. All they do for me is squish my fat out up top into one ginormous fat roll. Maybe I do have the wrong size.
I dont like things tight against me anyways so the idea of Spanx makes me wanna go in a panic attack
I am trying to envision you trying to squeeze into your new Spanx! Lol Thanks for the laugh this morning. I needed it.
Happy First Day of Fall here in Michigan. I love fall in Michigan!
My kids don't always flush either, but no boys here so no 'Yellow Joy.' Some days I'm very glad I have two girls. ;-)
I avoid spandex altogether. I just can't put the world through that.
Always love your random thoughts!
Have a fantastic day,
Raven
this is so funny but many great points
so funny! once i wore some spanx for a friends wedding.. and sure they do a WONDERFUL job of squishing everything where it LOOKS all pretty and all.. but seriously- they were the most uncomfortable things EVER!!.... they HURT...
It is so hot here all the time, I cannot imagine wearing spanx. I can, however, imagine sticking my head in a dreamcatcher....
dream catchers are the 3rd most often used means of self-strangulation - it's true
That's gross about the flushing. A few of my kids don't flush. They don't even give excuses. I think they are afraid of the loud sound that it makes. :)
If it's yellow let it mellow if it's brown flush it down!
don't you believe in saving water? LOL
(Me neither)
Yellow joy...hahahaha
Thanks for the tip on Spanx...I've always been a bit scared to make the purchase.
Yellow joy is a name for it, but not the one I use - eeewww
I am thinking that spanx should be called sausage casing....
heh heh
good luck with the son.
I hope your son comes to his senses soon and remembers to flush EACH TIME. I've never bought Spanx, but I've done that with other undergarments, and it's usually not a good idea... everything pushes, up, or to the side, and then you have bulges.. which look even worse !
My husband does that sometimes in the evening where he "forgets" to flush. I ask him why he doesnt flush and he says he doesnt want to wake up the girls....who are asleep....on the other end of the house...who couldnt possibly hear the toilet.
lol...eww..
my daughter made a dream catcher at school...she loves it..now when i see it..i will remember you...lol!
Yellow joy... lol.
I don't have a dream catcher but what I need is a dream giver.
xx
I need spanx. I need them bad. Good to know that I need to go up in size if necessary.
I had a dreamcatcher once. My cat ate it. Damn cat!
I need spanx. I need them bad. Good to know that I need to go up in size if necessary.
I had a dreamcatcher once. My cat ate it. Damn cat!
Madison always forgets to flush her pee too. I'll do it once in a while if I'm home alone, but come on people! Have some damn pride!
OMG, I will never understand the draw of Spanx. It look torturous to me! Send em back!
Justine :o )
Yellow joy...lol. That happens around our house a lot too.
When you cram your head through that dream catcher be sure to post a picture for me... I'm having a very long morning and I could use the laugh!
I have to say that your son's logic does make a lot of sense. Maybe you should just fit a safety net to the toilet?
Hmm, on second thoughts you would need to make sure the holes are not too small, y'know, so that it catches you but nothing else. On third thoughts, cleaning the net would be rather unpleasant.
I don't know how I am ever going to get yellow joy out of my head. you are too funny!
He has some logic there, I guess!
Sorry - I'm laughing at you with the too-small Spanx on with your head through the dream catcher. THAT would be a bad day!
-->Does the spanx actually work?
www.WebSavyMom.com
i just wanted to add to this conversation that i have two GIRLS who SOMEHOW manage to pee ON THE SEAT!! wth??????
Ha! Head in the dream catcher, huh? As long as there's no yellow joy in that too! :)
My son went through that "I'm not flushing because it will save water" phase. I hated it. He has now since moved out and his bathroom has never been cleaner but I miss him. It's an affliction.
Yellow joy! LOL
Typical boy, right?
Yellow joy?!?!
That's classic boy rationality!
Lisa @
All That and a Box of Rocks
Spanx are great---in cool weather. In hot weather, they are just plain gross and hot and sweaty and ewwwwwww! Like Rebacca Jo said, they are real panic-attack givers!!
And here's another big old EWWWWWWW on the yellow joy problemo.
Nice random. Your posts always leave me laughing!
LMAO off at yellow joy. I think I would seriously have to hurt my son if my bare ass landed in his "yellow joy" at 3:00 in the morning. Just sayin'
And thanks for the heads-up on the Spanx. ;)
I tried Spanx once, but the trouble was that although it kept my tummy in, it was way to big and baggy on my bottom! Then I had this thought that maybe my head was just on the wrong way! Now, I'm not kidding about this, I have no bottom and I must have been behind the door when they gave out boobs, so that was the only conclusion that I could come up with!
This whole post was just loaded with funny. Thank you.
Jan from the Sushi Bar
"Yellow joy"...that's going to make me giggle all day. Of course I'm not giggling at your plight - especially since hubby's been leaving the seat up more and more recently after all these years of being good about not. He doesn't leave yellow joy but Princess Nagger does. I think it's a conspiracy. ;)
I keep hearing about this magical Spanx...good to know you need to size up to size down. ;)
I wonder if the dream catcher will actually catch the dreams if you stick your whole head in it? It might be work a scientific experiment... ;)
Happy RTT! :)
If I knew those dream catchers worked, I'd get one myself; got some catchin' to do!!
Nothing like a blazing yellow behind - woo-hoo!
I had a dreamcatcher before...I always hoped it prevented nightmares!
Oh gosh everytime I read your stuff I keel over laughing!
I just got a dreamcatcher the other day. They said we should send them a donation for it.
Ew. My first husband would do that too (leave the seat up, not the not flush...that's too ew for even HIM). I nagged, I asked, I begged and finally one night...I fell in. So I climbed into bed and stuck my cold, wet, nasty butt right against his back. He never did it again.
I have set my Spanx catalog aside so I can figure out what my first purchase should be, there are many choices. Thanks for the sizing tip! ;-)
LOL, Love the yellow joy. Sounds fun in the middle of the night.
Aaah, the joys of mothering a son. I have so much to look forward to!
I've always had that logic about making my bed. Why make it up every morning when I'm just going to get right back in there the next night?
So should we be suspicous if you have a give away for a pair of spanx?
Popping in from MBC!
Now following you...
Ah yes the yellow joy....mine aims like he is handling a fire hose...so be grateful that yours gets it in the bowl!
The dreamcatcher comment had me laughing so hard my husband came in to check on me. Sometimes I feel that way too!
partymix25(at)hotmail(dot)com
How much trouble will I be in, if I admit I laughed my way through this post...at your expense?
UMMM, oh, nevermind........ LMAO!!!!
You should come to the house I nanny at....3 of the 4 kids like to NEVER flush...imagine what I walk into on Mondays when their potties in their rooms haven't been flushed all weekend....
Dreamcatcher comment... sometimes I wonder what goes on in that head of yours Blueviolet! You crack me up...
Very funny!!!
The spanx story reminds me of how my mom bought me petite pantyhose for my wedding day.
She's 5'8. I'm 5'5. To her, I am petite. To the rest of the world I am an average height.
Needless to say, the pantyhose were too short. It's awesome to walk down the aisle with your pantyhose too short for you.
My kids love to flush right now... just for the "joy" of it! Heh.
Oh joy's of boys and the toilet!! What is it with them and going potty? My fav is the miss and then the mess I have to clean.
Oh spanx those things scare me ... LOL ;)
haha yes those were completely random thoughts!! :)
This was hilarious!
Thanks for the Fall Festivities suggestion! I have got to do some internet searching for the nearest pumpkin patch!
Love your Spanx commentary. I thought I sized up and I can barely get those suckers on - sheesh!
Hope you have a great week! (visiting from SITS)
- Margaret
Little environmentalist you got there.
Tell him to put a brick in the tank, and flush for Pete's sake! Indoor plumbing is awesome, embrace it.
It took forever to get my son to lift the lid to pee. He would pee all over the seat!!! Then, put the lid down which soaked up the pee on the seat cover. YES IT SMELLED IN OUR BATHROOM!!!
Wonderful randomness:-)
LOLOL about the Spanx!!! I love those!
lol about the dream catcher. thanks for the chuckles.
My son does that too. If your toilet ever develops a ring (like a crusty one that doesn't come off even if you regularly wash your toilet!) get a toilet pumice (cleaning aisle of walmart, like $4). It works like a dream. Not a dream catcher. No heads in the toilet. :)
oh man - I was totally thinking tonight that I need to get a spanx!!
love this post! yellow joy... haha
and the dreamcatcher... love it
I've been tempted by Spanx..but a little intimidated too..
Spanx look great until they tear and you're left with a big hole so instead of panty-lines, people see through the fabric to find what looks like an exploding growth oozing out of the constrictive nylons. Nice picture, huh?
Size down, I say!
UGH!! You've whipped your son into shape after that incident, right? I'm so sorry!
Those are hilarious random thoughts!
Welcome to the club!! I'm the official toilet flusher in my house. Hubby and the boys seem to live by the motto "If it's yellow, let it mellow".
I am frightened to ask what spanx might be?
I HATE hate HATE when the seat is left up in the middle of the night. Sometimes I want to wake my husband up and make him close it but then I decide to be kind : ).
Can I stick my head in your dream catcher too?
I need Spanx. Desperately.
I had a friend that flushed the toilet once a day to conserve water. I am not a water conservationist in this regard.
Maybe dear hubby would enjoy cramming that dreamcatcher on your head for you:)
Ohhhh.. you always give me a good giggle. The toilet thing sounds like something my boys would do! I've never tried spanx but maybe I should give up on losing my tummy and just wear spanx!
Mine isn't flushing either and it's SO NASTY! Boys are icky lol.
LMBO! My son does the same thing.
I tried spanx on once and should have sized up, too. I could not breath.
I would have sized down too.
Always so much fun to read. Men clearly doesn't understand the torture they put women through just by avoiding the simple and easy act of putting down the toilet seat.
Yellow joy!!!!!!!!
I bought the whole body Spanx and I got a workout just putting it on!! It freakin' hurts! After I got it on I was sweating the whole time and I was just sitting!
Don't even get me started on the whole leaving the toilet seat up deal. Just one of my biggest peeves. Grrr....
Yeah, I got a bit of a complex too when I tried to squeeze into a pair of Spanx once. Don't worry, I'm working on a way to exercise while you sleep. Actually, I'm not but I should be.
"Yellow joy" That must be the quote of the day!
How to make a website
Snort. Sorry. Couldn't help it.
Keep trying the spanx..if you get the bigger size they don't do the job. You can do it..and you will be so happy:)
LOL!!!
too funny
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