Reading in the bathroom. That's gross. Gross, I tell ya.
How do you do it? Why do you do it?
I can not do it, and I am appalled at those of you who can.
Who wants to sit in a cloud of their own filth for one second longer than you must?
Get in. Get out. Get over it.
And do not ever expect me to read anything that has entered the confines of the pooping place.
It is now deemed a level 5 contaminant, and can not be removed from the bathroom unless safely contained within a bio-hazard waste receptacle.
I'm warning you. I get schizzy about sh*t.
148 comments:
You are serious! It's about the only reading that gets done by some people in my house.
but you will brush your teeth with a toothbrush that sits through it all...smiles.
You are crackin' me up these days!
I'm with you all the way on this one.
And I must thank Brian personally for the comment above. I will never brush my teeth again without thinking of that!
Now I am with you on this, but if there is a Playboy involved and he has not come out in a timely manner, then hey this is a matter for the shizzy police...the door is coming off!
I visited some people last year who had a regular magazine rack in the bathroom, well stocked with newspapers, books and mags. Can you imagine touching any of that stuff?
Secretia
Brian Miller is very, very funny.
Get this, BV - all scents/odors are particulate. All of them. You inhale particles, they take up residence in your body. They become one with you (or two, as the case may be).
Are you schizzy about your innards now? Mission accomplished. ;)
I feel the same way!! I always remember being freaked out when my grandfather would visit us, because he'd be in the bathroom for an hour and he'd read the newspaper and do crossword puzzles. Smelling poop is bad enough, but newspaper smell mixed with poop is really something special.
Damn. I agree with you, but you are cutting into my core demographic!
its too funny wat great enjoy man , have fun
She strikes again!!! Okay, you know how you can get your blog posts made into a book form? You should take your favorites and do this!!! I swear it would be a best seller...great coffee table book:-)
My husband does that I can't stand it either!
Haha..funny! Glad neither me or my husband like to read in the bathroom. We only have one toilet in the house!!!
Nobody in this house does this and we can't understand the need too.
I never stay in there long enough to read anything anyway! Maybe some people need a little more fiber! This is another area where you and I agree! Besides, who would want to spend time in the bathroom when we could be doing other things!? :)
I dont get it either. It's a in and out spot, not a library.
Haha!! Too funny!
I have to agree...and not to be weird, but I just don't stay in there long enough to get any reading done. It wigs me out when other people do...
and PLAYBOY. I'm just not that kinky in the bedroom OR bathroom!
Big Daddy reads on the toilet. I just don't get it. I hate bathrooms. I want to get out as soon as possible. I read in bed, or in front of the tv. I agree with you on the contaminated part. That's why I spray lysol on everything in the bathroom. Take care. xxo.
http://www.housewife-interrupted.com
on twitter @mellofahess
Clearly, you have never suffered with constipation.
ROFL
AHAHAHAHA!! I totally agree...what about those that take the laptop in!?!?!?!?!
This trend seems to be a male thing, I wonder why that is?
I never have gotten bathroom reading! You, my friend, are freakin' hilarious! LOVE LOVE LOVE the pic!
Ive never read in the bathroom, but I do talk on my cell...does that count, lol
Hey, People magazine has been a good friend to this chick who suffers with IBS. Better than staring at the walls! And it's not like I wipe myself with it for goodness sakes! LOL
Justine :o )
So true! I'm a get in and get out of the bathroom kind of gal. Now reading in the bathtub, that's a different story!
I'm right there with you - get in, do your business, get out. :)
I am 100% in agreement. I've never understood why anyone would want to linger while they squeeze. Its just so NASTY and so wrong.
Isn't that what the Readers Digest was written for? (Also known as "The Dog Who Walked Through Fire Journal".)
Seriously, I'm with you... who wants to sit in the fog of their own excrement? Get in and get out!
And Brian... Thanks to you, I'm now keeping my toothbrush in a rack outside the bathroom door.
Don't tell CJ, but I spray his stack of magazines with Lysol about once a week. :)
Oh that is soooo true. We just read that (unsurprisingly) the toilet flusher is the filthiest thing in your house. So you touch it, move your magazine or book and THEN wash your hands...yeeeewwww!
i say a mythbusters once where they tested toothbrushes for what types of particles are on them. um nasty. that concerns me much more than what may be on any magazines!
ewewew!
Gross... but sometimes, the bathroom is the only place I get for privacy :)
if i'm in the bathroom long enough to even think about cracking open a book, then i'm probably pretty freaking miserable and not thinking about reading anything lol!! i dont get it either!!
What about texting people from my phone in the bathroom!
I find my best recipes while in the restroom at home! I have a stack of ladies' magazines I keep in there, plus my hubs mens' mags
I do it. I do it with my computer too. Sorry.
Oh, sister. So do I. So. Do. I. ick ick ick.
Agreeing here! Get in get out as fast as you can!!
HAHAH!! thats too funny!! Ive never actually seen anyone take reading material to the RR except like on TV!
&& whoever posted that toothbrush comment.. Thanks I will buying new brushes and storing them elsewhere! LOL
Ha ha, you are so funny. So I can only guess what you think of the folks that take their LAPTOP into the loo with them.
nastiness.
wow. this one really has you riled up. what got you on this topic today?
You are a girl after my own heart! I feel the exact same way!
I'm with a previous commenter, what got you on this topic?
Some people do have trouble going and reading relaxes them. I am not one of those people but my husband is. I can tell you this, if I read a magazine for those few short minutes, it is touched only by clean hands.
Somtimes you may be desperate and that why I'm typing this....from my toilet. :)
how about B who LAPTOPS in the bathroom. sicksicksick
LMAO at the comment from BoobNazi...with the computor....LOLOL
IDK...i think in my own house its fine but not in any other...I think my whole family reads something in there...I should leave cleaning lists, to do lists, and chores that need to be done within the pages..!!
We never understood the need (desire?)to read in the bathroom. Why linger???
Hahaha. Nothing like a little toilet humor to rattle everyone's cages!
-Luke Sidewalker
No! This is so real it's disgusting! This is part of the reason that I have a slight fear of library books, you just never know!
Best reading room in the house.
I am SO with you...disgusting. omg...and I just read the comment above mine, yeah, I'm never going to the library again.
Like I would tell you if I did read in the bathroom or not. Let's just say I read EVERYWHERE.
Can we agree to disagree?
LOL great post!
I agree. In and out. My dad was a reader there. Ugh.
What can be even worse is what you are reading. The other day I really considered what was sitting on the tank: Thomas A'Kempis, The Imitation of Christ and I thought to myself "that really is so wrong."
I also don't get reading mags in a doctor's office. Talk about germs.
Love this post! I totally agree with you...it's the epitome of grossness (is that a word?). And some people actually have a magazine holder in their bathrooms - Ick.
It seems to be mostly a guy thing and it is NA-A-A-ASTY!!!!! The guys at work do it, too, and I cringe whenever I see them walking toward the bathroom with a newspaper tucked under their arm!!! Gross!!!
OMG. AGREE x1000. I would never want to touch something that someone was reading in the bathroom.
I read in the john, and I haven't died yet...
HAHA! So with you! I read Brians comment on the top and do you know when you flush your toilet it sprays into the air! I freak when people don't shut the lid. Or when your in a public bathroom with a toddler and you bend down to help them with their pants and there she blows.
I never shut the door for Gavin so I can make the grab and dash backwards when they go off.
Love this post!! I am like you in and out and so is my husband!! One of our daughters reads and the other one calls me on the phone!
And now my grandson who is 3 and has not been potty trained that long said to me the other day
"Gramme, I have to Poop ...get a Book" I about flipped!! Oh and his mommy is NOT the one that reads and his daddy doesn't either!
It's kind of a man thing isn't it?
LMAO!
LOL don't men love doing that ;)
Girl, you are speaking my language. I think it is disgusting and bizzare.
My husband practically lives in the bathroom. He has stacks of reading material in there. I don't get it. I can think of so many places in the house that are more comfy and smell better than a toilet.
I'm so with you on this!
BTW, I have an award for you. I'm not sure if you already have it or if you want it but I wanted you to have it.
Hugs!!
If my kids gave me the chance to be in there long enough I would read - hell, I'd read anywhere. But sadly, they don't.
I rarely read in the bathroom, but I do have 'bathroom' books designated for those times when I do. Sometimes they are silly random trivia books - other times it's an actual book that I pick up and read - but it's rare. I understand the squimishness though - I try not to spend too much time thinking about it though ;-)
I feel the same way and thought I must be the only one. Nice to know others are on my side.
I always freak out at hubby who takes about 20 minutes each morning to read while in the bathroom.
I never understood it. I prefer reading while drinking my coffee, at the kitchen table.
I am constantly removing the "reading material" that accumulates in ours-my husband views this room as his own personal library. Very strange...
I totally know what you mean about this - it is gross, yet I still do it despite my reputation as a germ phobe.
I totally agree! Just shit and get off the pot. Literally.
If you take so long that you need to bring reading material, you need to eat more fiber and drink more water.
Sometimes that's the only place I can find a moments peace to be able to read a sentence or two.
I loved Helene's husband's post (I'm Living Proof That God Has A Sense Of Humor) where he confessed to hiding in the bathroom with her People Magazine crossword while she's downstairs yelling "Has anyone seen my People Magazine?"
I'm totally with you on this one. Dh spends upwards of 30 minutes in there and it totally grosses me out. He reads and even does take his laptop in sometimes, ewwww. I'm so glad I have my own computer!
I never do this. I can't stand the odours!
Funny pic you put up there!
Betty xx
Did you ever see the Seinfield about that? George was in a bookstore and took a book into the bathroom and they made him buy it. He kept trying to return it to different stores but it had been tagged as a bathroom book and he couldn't return it. It was really funny!
I agree with you 100%!
No matter how spotless it is, I have "issues" with the potty and the 2-3 foot area around it.
Building contractors should have bookcases built into every bathroom in houses so when people buy a new house they don't have to install their own! You know we all read on the potty! "Fess up!
True Story: My Parents keep a copy of the bible in the restroom...yep! That's what they read while in there...LOL
Why I'm pooping as I read this blog post....
Could NOT agree with you more! Just, ewwwww!! I've been thinking this for years, so glad someone finally SAID it!!
That picture is both disturbing and hysterical!!
so funny! I 100 PERCENT agree. YUCK and WHY?? Did you ever see that Doctors show when they talked about when you flush. Gross! All I can say is - CLOSE THE LID THEN FLUSH.
I am sorry, but it is so tempting. My hubs has the new issue of Uncle John's Bathroom reader in there and somehow it seems weird to bring it out and read it in the living room....and I so wanna read it.
I think I read about this in a bathroom reader once....
As Brian said, there sits your toothbrush. And what about your makeup and soap and powder?
The 'bath' room is where it all takes place, including finally getting to "The End." Oh, sorry for the pun there...
Well, when you put it that way....!!
You're too funny:)
I never understood why people would feel the need to read in the bathroom. Just go and get out.
ROFL - What I want to know is how did you get him to take that picture? LMAO What a good sport! How did you hold the camera still long enough to take the pic? LOL What a great post! My dad use to go in there every morning & take his coffee & cigarettes & stay for an hour trying to wake up I guess. What I wondered was how the tile stayed on the wall. LOL
LOL! I don't, but my man does! I just take care of business then get out. Why someone want to linger around and read is beyond me!
LOL My dad calls the bathroom the library!
I can't stand it! Absolutely hate when someone grabs magazine, book, or newspaper to head to the bathroom. ICK!!!!
I guess this means you do not check out library books. Think about that one...
I couldn't agree more, that's just nasty. My husband does crosswords - sick b*st*ard!
Reading all the comments...Steven...talking on the phone is way worse!
Ha ha! You crack me up! I'm like you though, get in, do your business and get the heck out!
A-MEN sista!
Give me the tongs and hold my nose! That is nasty. My hubs does that with newspapers. He'll be like...did you see the story about...I'm like, I'm not TOUCHING that paper now.
Na-sty!
I'm never in the bathroom long enough to read.
Years (and years) ago, I used to run a daycare. I took care of 5 toddlers (including my own), all under the age of two. I learned to do what I had to do(o) in the bathroom in 30 seconds or less. It's a talent I still have to this day! ;-)
P.S. Yaya's comment cracked me up. lol
I got mad at a roommate who took the communal house phone into the bathroom with him. I don't want his poo poo germs on the phone.
Oh man I have the same thing here, that had putting down the lid when you flush. I always tell the boys you don't want poop particles flying around ... lol
Yuck!
I think a few folks must be fibbing here. I thought everyone read in the bathroom! Where else can you go to get 5 minutes of peace and quiet?
Ewww. It totally grosses me out when my husband reads magazines/catalogs in the bathrrom, leaves them hanging around the toilet for a couple weeks, then moves them back into the living room. GROSS.
Dumb Dad believes that the crapper is his own personal library and thinking space. No wonder his ideas are also such crap!
Amen!
So funny. I know it is gross when you see reading material laying around people's bathrooms. I would not touch it with a 10 foot pole!
Hahaha! Brian Miller's comment is sure food for thought, too. :)
I was thinking, what's wrong with reading in the bathroom? That is until I saw your picture. Ewwwww... you are so right. I'm convinced. Reading in the bathroom is just WRONG!
Very funny.
But i have to say my husband gets a lot of reading done in the bathroom.
funny, sometimes my time in the bathroom is the only me time I get
I DO read in the bathroom but when I'm done, I'm done. I don't sit there to finish the story. Besides it's usually a magazine from 2006 that I really don't care about anyway.
Definitelty not a reading pooper. Frankly, it doesn't even take me that long. It's like you said, in and out, or $h!t and get!
Definitelty not a reading pooper. Frankly, it doesn't even take me that long. It's like you said, in and out, or $h!t and get!
Sometimes I HAVE to have something to read to take my mind off of the pain. Sorry.
I know, I totally agree! I don't get why guys do it!
BARF!! My hubs is a bathroom camper/reader and I dont get it. I want to get my shit done (literally) and get out!
I remember some college roommates who used to bring the dictionary into the bathroom for reading material. What was really bizarre was hearing the occasional word definition emanating from the stalls.
It grosses me out too. And as far as myself, I can't get my business done if I can't concentrate... LOL.
"...and I am appalled at those of you who can."
Is that a pun? Can? hee hee
I'm sorry I couldn't resist.
AND I confess: I'm a proud bathroom reader. *smile*
Does bathtub reading qualify as taking place within the confines of the poopy place? It is directly adjacent, but or course (or at least ideally) a mutually exclusive activity.
See....this is why I love you! We could be sisters, twins even. I have majah poo issues.
I don't linger. I don't read. I don't discuss. In fact, I've been working on a post you should really read. ;)
It could be because I'm married to a man who feels the need to carry his laptop & two cell phones in the bathroom with him.
I get schizzy about sh*t, too.
My husband has been known to do this.
Not only do I find it gross, but I'm also bitter that he has the luxury of having a PIP (poop in peace) while I have to have an audience (my kids) when I use the bathroom.
Ha Ha Ha! Your post is hilarious! And I love all the comments you've received.
I don't read in the bathroom but I do open the bills in there. :)
What a hornets nest you stirred with a bathroom post - congratulations, although I must admit ... I AM A READER! Sad, but true ...
I've left something for you on my blog
http://twentytolifeblog.blogspot.com/2010/02/brand-new-blog-awesome-awards.html
You're free to take it, admire it or leave it, but I LOVE your blog, so I gave you one :)
Thanks - Joe!
If I go into a bathroom, I will not touch reading materials already in there, however I will bring my own magazine and it must be done by then so I can put it in the trash. That's the only time I get to read mags sent to me.
However courtesy flush does work. lol
And gosh that pic is perfectly true.
Gosh I laughed so hard!
It must be a man thing because every single man I've ever known (including my dad and my grandfather) has read in the bathroom. I'm with you...I wanna get in and out as quickly as possible.
Though when the kids are stressing me out, I have been known to grab a book or magazine and sit on the floor of the bathroom reading so I can cool down. But there's no other "activities" going on at the same time!
Guilty.
How else am I supposed to catch up on my celebrity gossip?
haha this cracks me up!!! no pun intended.
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I agree!! Keep preaching girl! My brother in law ONLY reads in the bathroom. When he goes in, it will be 30 minutes until you see him again. I say YUCK too:)
I have books in my guest bathroom - "The Bathroom Reader" books! LOL They're pretty interesting!
Couldn't agree more, I've always wondered why for the love of all things sanitary would people keep reading material next to their crapper?! Wipe, then go on to the next chapter? Absolutely disgusting.
My son apparently thinks it is the best place to read...I have forbidden him to take reading materials in with him.
Hahaha! *raises hand guiltily*
I read in the bathroom. I love it. It relaxes me, if you know what I mean!
Heeheehee!
Reading while on the toilet is something I have never understood. Why don't you just wait till you have to go and then go? I mean, I know when I have to go. I don't just say, hey -- got a 1/2 hour to kill. Why not go sit on the toilet and see what happens. Crazy.
I wonder how many women do this? I always associate it with men. But my step-daughter spent many of her early years with her dad and it is a habit she picked up from him too.... I just don't get it.
I agree...that is just disgusting. All guys do it though. Gross.
Comment #135 cracked me up. I don't have anything to add to the discussion though!
I know!! My husband and daughter are pooper readers!! Heck man...I need to concentrate. Reading will distract me;)
Obviously you haven't had young children in the house for awhile. Reading in the bathroom is a sanctuary!!!
I am in total agreement with you. It reminds me of the Seinfeld show where George tried to return a book that he had taken in the bathroom. Very funny.
I totally agree with this, the shitter is for, well...shitting. Thanks for stopping by my blog!
LOL it's the only time at work I can check my email!
I do not read in the bathroom either.
However, in an effort to understand those who do, I think it all comes down to the time needed to spend in said bathroom to complete the task at hand. Hence, some form of literature may come in handy, I'm thinking. Especially if it takes your mind off what is going on around you at the time.
Would this be a bad time to tell you that I read your blog in the bathroom every morning?? JUST KIDDING! I dont. Really.
However my hubs spends hours in there... so gross!!
I think every single male in my family member does this... takes them forever to get out of the bathroom!!
omg this is too funny. I was over at a friends house and they have reading material in the GUEST BATHROOM! Yikes. Wanted to gag.
LMAO! I won't tell you where I sat, soaked in irony, when I read this post.
I never read on the john until I had kids. Now the smell of my own filth is a small price to pay for a little alone time.
You never fail to crack me up. When the kids were younger, it was the only place I had some privacy, so yes, I did read in there.
Now, not at all!
The Hubs... he takes the iPhone in there to read his emails... which I then procede to wipe off with a Lysol wet wipe. EEEWWWW!!!
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